that doesn't come with pain.I was yet to find out how far my mother
was prepared to do for my sake. I stood there frozen to the ground,
remorse washed over me.I had disgraced my family and now my mother was
being insulted for my sins. I didn't have enough reasons to justify
myself. I made a mistake in the past but I was ready to change for the
better .
I walked inside to find my Aunt Nyabanda poking my mother.
"here comes mother of mothers ." I pretended to have not heard her for
I knew trouble was brewing.
"sit down my child." my uncle spoke with a straight face totally
ignoring her. I joined my mum and aunt on the mat.
"we called you today because you owe us an explaination.we want to
know where you got these kids."
aunt Nyabanda interrupted saying "we want you to tel us the father of
your bastards ."
there was no way I was washing my dirty linen in public,my aunt was
nicknamed ZBS after zodiac broadcasting station for her ability
to.spread news fast. my uncle told her to shut up. emotions were
rumbling inside me but I kept a passive face.
"we want you to bring the man responsible here so that he pay
damages." some cultures are just out of this world. while I had
struggled to shed Ben off my back, these people were trying to put
that iron back around my neck. he further said the children need to
have a sense of belonging and the family didn't have room for more
humiliation. my mum was quick to answer that they should leave me to
decide what I wanted to do. Aunt nyabanda had a permanent scrowl on
her face, I knew it wasn't hiting home.
"she has had her way too long, now it's time to tell her what to
George." my uncle was determined to give me hell.
"uncle with due respect I understand your good intentions but there's
no way I am getting involved with Ben again. he is the one who left me
in this situation and I will never have anything to do with him
again." I made myself clear.
"you are my responsibility and I have to make things straight once and
for all, for the good memory of my brother." he was talking as if he
will make my father rise again to reward him . my mum was firing shots
for me,she said she won't allow them to push me around. my uncle said
he didn't ask for her opinion anyway and didn't expect her words to
change anything.
I declined to get in touch with Ben,memories of his torture were still
fresh and I wasn't ready to sacrifice my happiness for the sake of
their money thirst. they were being greedy by wanting to feast on my
misfortune yet getting damages wouldn't even make a difference in
their poverty levels.if they were so desperate, they had to sell their
own daughters. we went on arguing for hours until a boy came to tell
my uncle that his presence was urgently required. he went.he was a
lazy village bones who was too smart to do any farm work yet he needed
to eat every single day.he was more or less like the chief's
representative .while others were busy towing the earth to feed their
families.it was his two wives and six children who bore the burden of
farming.
Aunt Nyabanda left with the excuse that she was going to prepare food
for her husband.rumor had it that she snatched the man from another
woman using muthi. the man had married six wives and divorced them all
then married my aunt and had since lived with her for over twenty
years. what did she have that the other women didn't? I never knew.
later that night my mum gave me the letter my father left for me. I
flipped it open.
"my dear child Wangu
time and distance had the best of us by giving us a hard time. if I
could I would have reversed the wheel of time and be hundred times
over the father that I longed to be. I am sorry for not being there
when the storm of life hit.I wasn't there to protect and initiate you
into the life and future ahead.you became grown up too soon and it was
too late for me to do anything about it. I could have done better by
agreeing to take a right hand in your upbringing yet it turned out
that I pushed my responsibility to somebody else.
I am sorry for everything. take care of yourself and always be there
for your mother.
I love you my baby even though I had a lousy way of showing it.
Love- Dad "
I felt like I had opened a flood gate of tears.reality finally sunk
in,my father was gone forever and all along we had lived like
strangers.I cried because he never lived to see his grandchildren. I
looked at my mother and wished I had the capability enough to buy the
world for her to wipe the tears and sadness from her face. to live to
never know the prick of loss again. we hugged each other and cried
until there were no more tears left.
my phone beeped. an sms came through.
"live my man alone you b****"
what the hell??????Episode 4 (Part B)
when emotions make the heart weary ,the soul weakens as well. that SMS
made my emotions into a messy crumble.there was no way Cindy could
have sent me that since we no longer had scores to settle.she won,she
had Ben. I didn't have trust issues with Peter because he didn't have
any girl besides me and I wasn't competing with anybody since he gave
me no reasons to distrust him.
I tried calling the number but it went unanswered. I was sure whoever
had sent that was sending it to a wrong number. I wasn't involved with
any one's man,my conscious was as clean as a nun's knickers.
my mum asked if everything was okay and I assured her that nothing was
amiss yet my face betrayed my emotions.
I went outside and retried calling ,it was unavailable. I was about to
get inside when my phone rung.my lips curved into an infectious smile,
it was Peter. the frown on my face completely disappeared.
"hey love"
"hey dear. did you go somewhere yesterday? " he sounded as if he had
heard something about me but I hadn't told him of that day's incident
with his mother.
"I was home the whole day.why do you ask hun?" hide and seek emotional
games weren't my slice.
"are you sure about that?" I was taken about to the previous day yet I
still more saw myself that i was saying the truth.
" if you are not sure you can ask Amanda, koma why are you asking? ."
it was a completely new feeling not to be trusted.
"am asking Wangu because am at my wits end.I have had a very
disturbing day.I received a call from a private number. a woman who
introduced herself as Tamara.does this name ring a bell?"
I didn't know anybody by that name and why did she call on a private number?
"I don't know her" I answered in anticipation for more.
"she says she has enough proof to prove that you and Ben are still
going out. she is or was the girlfriend until he confronted her about
text messages he was communicating with you. " that accusation was hot
and quick and if handled with baby hands could put me at risk of
losing Peter.
"babe you know perfectly well what I think of Ben now. heavens can
bear me witness that I am done with him,I don't communicate with him
and its true ." I don't know who the hell was trying to upset my apple
cart. my hands were shaking in terror and rage at the intensity some
people can go to damage others.
" the worse thing is that Ben has :followed you and you have been seen
in eachothers company all over the village.he is there to pay your
bride price.is it true that you are second timing me? " wooh that was
a lie straight from the pits of hell.how do people stop minding their
own businesses I will never understand. yet it was ironic how i had
been told to do exactly that .somebody was taking his news
broadcasting seriously.he.further said that she had lost her marriage
because of Ben,her husband left her when he found out she was cheating
and now that Ben didn't want to do anything with her any more,she
wanted to ruin my relationship too since all Ben could talk about was
his baby,to her it was enough reasons to conclude that we were still
together. I was shocked to the core.
" babe please you know me better than everyone else. I was going to
tell you about your mother and the meeting with my relatives." this
call had just come too soon before I had a chance to tell him. I
narrated the events of that day and when I told him about his mother,
he roared like an angry lion.
"my mother cannot dictate my life for me.I am old enough to know what
I want. "I told him that I will never go there again until he sort it
out. he didn't want to further put a strain on our relationship, he
told me to go back the following morning, no excuses. he wanted me
back home .I felt like he wanted me to run away from these issues and
shut ourselves in our own world. my life was now full of the fear of
Ben ruining my life at every opportunity he found. how can his
girlfriend know so much about me without him telling her? some side
chicks are really ambitious. did she thought he would promote her to a
main when he ruined and messed her marriage? to him it was a game and
he had played her so well she had lost miserably. how long did she
think she was going to get the best of both worlds?that's dreaming
colourlessly.if it was all about money, Eeeh she had sold her soul to
the devil called Ben.if she was somebody else,she could have sought
for my advice first because I knew both sides of Ben's coin. there
were some home truths I wanted to tell Ben.
I went inside the house and informed my mum of Peter's decision for me
to go back.she didn't take it lightly.
"your father hasn't even rotted in his grave and you are already
abandoning me? " issues were weighing me down and my relationship was
at steak. as much as I wanted to stay, my heart was throbbing for my
man.
I packed all my things and was awake most of the night,watching out
for the first streaks of dawn and woke up early enough to prepare a
packed meal for amanda and we got on the first bus.when mum was
escorting me she was quite all the way.I left my phone with her with a
new simcard. I needed to be in touch always.
it was the longest drive ever.I was so excited because every passing
minute brought me closer to my man. after 9 hours of traveling, we
finally arrived in Lilongwe the dusty city. Peter waited for us at the
bus depot and it was Amanda who first saw him.my heart melted with
love when he embraced me so tightly I thought he would crush my
bones.its true distance makes the heart grow fonder.
we went home and it felt heavenly to be back. even Laurent looked so
happy to be back. we went for a bath, prepared supper and went to bed.
I was so exhausted and too tired to talk about the pending issues ,i
fed the baby and fall asleep the moment my head hit the pillow. Peter
was on night duty changing nappies and bottle feeding.
morning came,I woke up feeling so refreshed.I prepared breakfast and
my man left for work.the moment he left, I called Ben on a landline.
when he heard my voice, he knew it was me.I asked him if he knew
Tamara and he said yes.I didn't waste time to tell him to tell her to
leave me and mine alone. I didn't want him ruining my life and if he
had issues, he had to sort them out without dragging me in it. he
didn't know that I had a man and told me to apologize on his behalf.
kkkkkkk talking about him learning to say the five lettered magic
words. he started to ask about Amanda when Laurent picked up a perfect
time to cry.
"what baby do you have?" he asked. I didn't think it was necessary yet
I still told him.
"what???? you have a baby boy and yet you didn't tell me?" did this
man think my medulla oburangata was defunct? he said he didn't want
this baby yet here he was blowing trumpets.
"forget it man. this baby is no longer yours.he ceased to be that time
you gave me money for abortion ." I said that then hunged up .certain
paths were never designed to be passed twice. Ben-phobia was
completely gone. I didn't tell Peter about that call for fear of
further bruising his emotions.
a week later we were at home on a Sunday. I was cooking while Peter
was helping Amanda learn to count numbers. we had returned from church
few hours ago and lunch was almost ready. I was setting the table at
the dining room when there was a knock on the door.
"can you see who is at the door sweetheart "Peter called for me.I put
Laurent amidst the books,to the surprise of the two people who were
totally engrossed in learning on my way to the door.
I flung it open and there stood the worst of my nightmares. my blood went cold…
To be continued…
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