true to her words and it was in my
room. I didn't even know and Chinaza
roasted me for it.
"I didn't see it because I wasn't looking
for it. How would I know that
Chinecherem even had a bible?"I
protested, still wondering how the Bible
got to be in my room. I had never
opened a bible with her before.
Chinecherem wasn't giving a
reasonable explanation, she was all
about the indomie and how nice it was
to see us guys again. "Or are you trying
to say that there is something else
behind that Bible being in my room?" I
asked trying to play the righteous one
and shooting myself in the leg while at
it.
"I am not saying anything o. It's just
that I have never come into your room
any day to see James cap or singlet or
even pen that he had forgotten but it's
either I see a girl's forgotten g-string or
it's another girls Bible," Chinaza
chirped out nonchalantly.
James faked a yawn and Willie let out
his signature grin. Shape adjusted
where she sat on the bed and only
Chinecherem laughed.
"Pant kwa? Tell me about it," Shape
asked, cupping her chin with her hand.
"Yes o, gist us," Willie supported. I
waded in, that tape was too unsavory
and I wouldn't like it to be played.
"We were talking about indomie
before," I chipped in and shape hushed
me.
"The indomie can wait, this upcoming
story dy totori me well well," she said
and kept staring at Naza. Naza shot me
a look and saw how restless I was. She
was my baby and she could read me.
"Don't worry, it's nothing actually.
Neche go and make indomie. We are
hungry," she finally said. Shape hissed.
I didn't grumble about the indomie or
complain about the number of people
that were lined up to stuff their
stomach at my expense. I just ran into
the kitchen before Naza would
entertain them with that unsexy tale of
us and Cynthia's Pant.
The carton of indomie came down from
top of the wardrobe and another
problem surfaced. I had just enough pot
to cook three packs of indomie, the
bachelor's type of pot. I had 5 half
adults with the guys among them
having the average capacity to consume
three packs and still ask for more.
"You should just cook in batches, cook
three first for the ladies. They would
eat together, then cook another three
for me, then you can cook three for
you and James."
That was Williams giving me
suggestions. He got tongue lashed for it.
Even shape chopped him up too. After
running back and forth and everything,
we adopted his plan.
We chatted while the noodles boiled
and when the first three packs cooked,
the ladies set on it, eating it like typical
ladies. Willie excused himself and went
outside. He came back in with a tin of
sardine and three raw eggs.
"This is for my own, you guys can only
look at it once, the second look will
blind you," he declared and dumped it
on the table. The girls whispered to
each other and giggled. The next three
packs of indomie soon cooked and was
garnished all round with sumptuous
eggs and sardines. Willie gently set it
on the floor. He closed his eyes and
said his one second prayer.
"Plus Jesus, Minus Satan," he said and
the girls yelled out a loud amen, louder
than his own and before he could dig
his fork into the steaming noodles, the
girls had already surrounded him on
the floor and were rolling out noodles.
The first things to go were the eggs,
then the bits of fishes followed suit. I
swear I have never seen Willie look so
tearful, not even the look on his face
the day my mother sold his brand new
Playstation 2 to the junk collectors for
200 naira thinking it was my
grandfather's old gramophone could
compare to the look he had on his face
at that moment. He had bought that
game for 20,000 naira.
It was like the girls had raped the
indomie and left it bare afterwards. He
couldn't complain because his Shape
was among the Raiders. Chinaza was
there so I just kept mute but I swear I
wasn't laughing, I felt the pain too.
James however let it rain.
They left the food for him and went
back to the bed. Only Chinecherem
stayed back. She loved food.
"Naza, I thought you loved me?" Willie
managed to ask shape.
"Of course I do, my problem with you
is that you don't love me enough. You
watched me eat my own indomie
without even crayfish and you just sat
there now you want to eat yours with
egg and sardines," she replied and
rolled her eyes.
"Add you had to bring your family
along?" he asked, referring to Naza and
Chinecherem.
While he was complaining,
Chinecherem had managed to divide the
rest of the food into three equal parts
and had eaten up two of those three
parts. He had to chase her away and
manage the rest. Then when ours came
down from the fire, he had to join us.
"Ehe baby, remember tomorrow is
19th," Chinaza told me. I had forgotten
actually.
"What about 19th?" I asked.
"Your birthday naa, we need to make
cake, cook food and dance and dance,"
she replied jiggling her body. Another
wahala. Where will the money for that
one come from? I asked myself.
"Wow, Neche tomorrow is your
birthday?" Shape asked with a broader
than broad smile. I bet she was
imagining the party for it. I nodded and
sucked in my indomie.
"Ada we will invite a lot of girls too,"
Willie added. Shape eyed him.
"What for?" she and Chinaza asked in
unison.
"To help you make cake," he said and
hissed. The girls hissed back.
"Look at their jealous faces, as if you
don't know that it's girls that bring life
to the party," he said and hissed again.
If the party was going to hold and we
were going to play music, we sure
needed some chics to dance since naza
obviously can't walk erect talk more of
twerking to my taste.
"And we need food too, lots of fried
rice," Chinecherem said.
"And drinks too," James added.
"Yea, and drinks," Willie backed him
up.
Chinaza stood up and threw her hands
in the air, stopped low and shook her
backside a little. It was dope in a way.
Then she yelled,
"Yay! It's my sweetheart's birthday
tomorrow and We gon party, yeah, we
gon have a party!" she twisted Chris
Brown's "Party". Everybody joined her
except me. The party was on my pocket
as well.
And here I was thinking she is
incapacitated in terms of twerking. You
guys should come and have a look at
what she is doing. Singing My baby
sweet o.
.
To be continued
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