was a bleeping gang up!!!!
"She want a niggar with them gold
slugs, gold slugs.
I'm grilling and and I'm bleeping at the
same time, grilling and bleeping at the
same time……. "
We were all singing along to the mega
noise in my room. Chinaza's voice rose
clearly above all others, she was drunk
and so was everybody else.
I had gotten home and saw my bed
leaning against the wall. I was afraid I
was being thrown out of my room until
I remembered Naza was around and
only a crazy girl like her could do that
poo. I compiled all the anger I was
nursing against those invitation text
messages she had sent to those girls and
added it to the anger I had on seeing
my expensive high rise mattress outside
and I was going into the house to set
her on fire but ended up running into
her awaiting arms. She sang me the
happy birthday song with backup from
all the babes in my lodge and went on
to sing, "You are 22 years today,"
bearing my ass to the world and in
front of that final year chic I told I was
clocking 26.
My room was like a party house,
spacious and the smell of nice food was
everywhere. I didn't even know what to
say neither did I get to say what I
know. The girls bombarded me with
hugs and pecks with Naza taking the
lead. In my kitchen was a cooler of
well cooked fried rice and there was a
bit of Chicken! In it. There was a CAKE
too. I turned to my baby and fell in
love like Daniel fell into the lions then.
I lifted her off the ground and swirled
her around. Damn she was heavy. I
then checked my phone in case of any
bank withdrawal alerts and made sure
my atm card was intact before I lifted
her up again. She had done all that
with her money. I sure knew then and
there that I had a 200 yards of wife
material.
I checked my fridge and it was filled to
the brim with Heineken. I needed no
sooth sayer to tell me that it was
Willies handwork. I fell on the bed and
stared at Naza like kids would stare at
a super hero.
"Happy birthday baby!" Shape yelled
and came at me with all her
bombardments. She fell on me with
kisses and hugs.
"Sweetheart, did you see what my baby
had done?" I asked excitedly.
"Yes o, I told you you are a lucky guy,"
shape replied.
Willie came back around 6 pm with
another crate of Heineken and some of
his guys. The music went on and my
room became a swarm of party lovers.
The food showed up first, hot and very
tasty. Everyone asked for more. Then
everyone got drunk and got tipsy.
James started forming DJ with the
remote. My home theater was a mad
loud and the bass could melt the heart
and harden the dick. I took over the
dance floor first and did a little of my
own thing. Naza came next and rocked
the balls out of me. Then everyone
joined us. The party was lit for me, the
thing I had almost avoided was turning
to something different for me. I was
loving the whole thing until Chinaza's
guests started arriving. I call them her
guests because she invited them.
Cynthia came in first around 8 pm.
Then Eva came in, dragging in Mma
and her room mate. Shape was
coordinating the guests amidst constant
distractions from a drunk Willie.
Eva came straight for me and hugged
the gush out of me. I felt her body in
3d while Naza kept watching from a
far end. She was somehow the centre of
attraction as everyone imagined at her
bulky stomach and what she was doing
at a party like that. A chitty chatty
shape kept telling them she was the
celebrant wife.
James was busy rocking with every girl
around to my envy. I couldn't join him
in that since I had my baby around
with her eyes hovering over me like an
anointing. Mma kept smiling at me
from afar. I had given her a secret kiss
the moment she came in and excused
myself.
"James abeg, hook up with that girl for
me, distract her attention from me," I
told him and he nodded eagerly.
"James, don't take it serious, she is my
new girl and I love her."
"I don hear guy. Nothing go happen,"
he said and left to meet up with her. I
was willing to play that game with
Chinaza. I ran to Willie and made him
hook his guys up with every single girl
Chinaza had invited with my phone.
That was how I won or I thought I did.
Chinaza always has her way of
outsmarting me.
The music was killed and everywhere
went quiet. The next item on the list.
Cutting the cake. I was surrounded by
everyone, knife in hand and cake on
the table.
"Make a wish dear," shape said and I
closed my eyes and made my wish. I
wished God would make Naza less
troublesome and blew off the candle. I
was going to cut the cake but Shape
stopped me.
"You will cut the cake with your
soulmate," she declared and Chinaza
stepped forward. She stood beside me
with her bulging stomach as I dropped
my face to the floor. I felt like I had
been put up before a firing squad.
"See, I wish you two a happy union,
love, affection, a bouncing baby boy….
"
"I want a girl," I murmured.
"and may this beautiful union end up
in a sweet marriage in the future,"
Shape yelled and a thunderous clap
followed.
"Kiss the bride please," James yelled. I
eyed him and he winked at me,
dropping his hand on Mma's shoulder.
I bit my lips and felt a heart attack.
James my friend had sold me over a
girl.
"It's a birthday party not a wedding
party," I protested and shape shot me
daggers with her eyes. I plucked up
Naza's lips and we both shut our eyes
as everyone clapped. They had won,
her and shape. Every girl I had ever
wanted will now know that I am not
single, that I have a very beautiful and
cute girlfriend who is pregnant for me
too. I needed a rope, I thought.
"You see why you guys need a good girl
in your life," shape yelled. "if it was a
party organized by a guy alone, you
will all drink and kill yaselfs. But this
one, she even cooked food. Fried rice
and Chicken!". Everyone yelled and
clapped.
I drunk the hell out of myself after that
saga.
"Take more," Naza kept urging me with
more bottles of drink. "It's your
birthday after all."
I suspected she was celebrating her
victory as well. She had tactically
warned off all my girls and she didn't
even have to argue about it. All she
had to do was set up a party. I loved
her ingenuity.
It was all party, booze and Romance as
we danced and twerked with guys
knocking themselves the hell off. My
birthday was lit, it was set on fire and
thanks to my baby mama. I owe her
the world.
"Do you hate me?" she asked while we
were outside.
"Why?" I asked.
"Because I invited your girlfriends
without your permission?"
"I can't hate you, you are my
everything," I declared, dancing the
drunk man's dance.
"I am sorry for inviting them, I just
wanted them to know the real you, that
you will soon be a father and I want
you to be a responsible one."
I watched her in the star lit darkness.
She was so beautiful and I loved her
again and again and again. You can
keep repeating that again. I hugged her.
"I love you baby," I said and staggered
a little. She slapped me a little hard.
"You didn't even deny that they were
your girlfriends," she said and it struck
me. Chinaza!
She was a kind of sweet poison but I
loved her for that. My only problem
with her was that she cooked up all my
rice for the party.
.
To be continued
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