Diary Of a Broke Playboy – Episode 2 - 9jalandzone

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Tuesday 13 February 2018

Diary Of a Broke Playboy – Episode 2

On this Friday i just needed to vent. You know that moment when all of
your body itches you and you just don't know why. Nothing seems to
interest you and you just feel weak. So I was in this particular mood
that day.I needed to let it out on someone. And was looking for a
prey.
My whatsapp binged. I took a look and it was Chinaza, my girlfriend.
Finally, a victim.
We started our chat. I have to confess, i was quite annoying but she
persisted. Maybe that's why she's my main chick. She cares a lot.
I was determined to vent all my anger on her. So as i was going hard
on her. I guess she figured out something was wrong and started to pet
me, asking what the matter was. I kept maintaining nothing was wrong
while being a total Sadist.
A while later when she probably got tired, she called my phone.
Her: what's wrong?
Me: i told you nothing was wrong naa
Her: are you sure?
Me: yea. Was that why you called?
Her: not really
Me: so?
Her: well, i didn't see my period
Me: who did you give it to?
Her: you.
Me: Really?
Her: be serious for once naa.
Something hit me on my mind immediately. It dawned on me that she said
just she didn't see her period. The implications seemed to simmer into
my head. I pause and continued, this time with much concern in my
voice.
Me: how come, did you check well, i mean is your period supposed to start now?
Her: yea. Its 3 days late and i'm scared like this o.
By this time, my voice was real shaky. I couldn't even afford a condom
talk more of affording a baby.
Me: But i have always been careful naa. How come?
Her: i don't know o. Shey i told you to buy condom that day but you
were too drunk to care.
Me: nawa o. Baby are you sure?
Her:Nop, i'm not sure, i just like it more when you are scared than
when you are angry. Just buy me a sanitary pad when coming. Love you.
Bye bye.
She laughed hard and dropped the phone. By this time i had totally
forgotten i was feeling somehow.
That girl shaa. She is crazy but i think thats why i love her.
Recently i have been bored and that increased my activities on facebook.
And so i met this new girl. Judging from her pictures, she was posh in
all ramifications. So we got talking..
She was a jambite seeking admission into my school. I smiled at the
prospect of hanging out with a jambito. I calculated they would be
cheaper to run around with.
Long story short, i asked her out. After much whining and shakara from
her, she accepted. We fixed a date, . Exchanged numbers and started
looking forward to our meeting.
On a Monday afternoon like this, i was on my bed, half sleeping and
half recovering from the little torment my babe, Chinaza gave me. That
girl shaa.
My phone rang, i hurriedly picked and shouted a coarse hello into the
mouthpiece. A very melodious female voice came up from the other end.
Me: Hello, na who be this?
Caller: Hi, its Rita, remember?
Me: Rita kwa? Rita from where?
Caller: Hey, you've forgotten already? We were supposed to be meeting today.
My head rang gbagam, i jumped up from my bed.
Me: yea Rita right, where are you now?
Rita: I'm about to leave my house. Just wanted to make sure it's still
going down.
Me:Ok, you can start coming, call me when you get to the school gate.
Immediately we dropped the call. I quickly grabbed my towel, ran into
the bathroom, did a quick wash up, i couldn't even remember if used
soap or not.
I dressed up, picked my wallet, counted the 1000 naira notes inside, 5
in total. I slid the wallet in my pocket and ran to James, my friends
room. We both lived in the same lodge. He had promised to escort me.
He hurriedly dressed up. And we both left the house. I ensured he had
some money on him, just in case.
We were in a keke headed for the school gate when she called.
Me: Hey are you there yet?
Rita: Yea. We just dropped now.
Me: Ok. I will be there soon.
Then something like an audio flash back hit me.
Me: Did you say "we"
Rita: yea, i came with a friend, i didn't know the way so i needed her
to help out.
Me: Okay o. Just wait for me. I dropped the call.
James just looked at me with a wicked grin on his face and said
"Guy, u don enter"
"Her friend better be cute too or i go just deny am for there sharp
sharp" i said as the keke dropped us.
Locating them wasn't so hard. I observed her from afar and her
pictures didn't lie. She was as cute as can be. Her friend too wasn't
bad.
We approached them. Reintroduced ourselves. James just focused on her
friend who's name was Cynthia.
So we moved into the nearest eatery. Got ourselves a seat. Called the
waiter. I was going to order for snacks so i could at least have some
change in my pocket. Then James asked them to make the order
themselves. I just eyed him, he smiled and smacked his lips.
"But get us chivita juice first and then take their orders" James was
still talking. I was graphically dividing the money in my pocket with
my imaginary eyes.
The Juice came. We opened it, poured into our various glasses, started
sipping as the girls started making their orders. Rita was
representing their interest.
"We'll both take fried rice and chicken with lots of salad on it"
James who had his glass of juice on his lips quickly dropped it on the
table. My eyes tripled in size.
"Wait, Bae are you two going to share the plate of rice or what?"
I asked
"Noo, we are getting two" Rita replied. James coughed
"Ok o" i said and faced my drink.
The waitress came back with two plates of steaming fried rice and huge
chicken wings. Only God knows how i managed not to snatch the food for
them. As the waitress was leaving she called after her and asked for
two cups of ice cream.
I stepped hard on James feet under the table. He looked at me and
grabbed his glass of juice and started gulping it.
As they were lazily eating their food. We started a conversation. Her
friend was a 100 level student of mass communication in the school.
While she was also trying to get admitted into the Same mass
communication departmentWe talked for a long while. When they were
almost done with their food, i got up and made my way to the rest
room. Counted my money again. Half cried for my life, urinated and
went back to the table only to be welcomed by additional two cups of
ice cream and another Chivita juice. I looked at the door, the devil
inside me started advising me to make use of the door but i just
jejely strolled to our table and sat down. James just managed to cover
a good part of his face with his hands and was convulsing with
laughter.
I just cleared my throat. Called the waitress to get me the bill.
The bill arrived, 7,250 naira. I was really tempted to yell at the
girls but i managed to control my emotions. I just pulled out the 5000
naira in my pocket, handed it over to James alongside bill, grabbed
the new juice and poured a large quantity of it in my glass, after all
i was paying for it. James completed the money and paid.
I looked at the girls who were still romancing their food.
"well, you girls should just round up and let's get going" i said
"We are through" Rita said and they both picked their handbags.
I looked at their plate, the food was still a bit much and the meat
was scarcely touched.
I and James looked at each other with our mouths open. I nodded and we
all left the eatery.
"So when are we seeing you guys again?" James asked as we got outside
the eatery.
"well i will be coming to register for my post ume in 2 weeks time.
Maybe we can hook up again" Rita said
"hope you guys will sleep over next time" james was still asking
"Ermm, till then" Rita replied.
James nodded. He felt his pocket and said he forgot his handkerchief
inside. He went back inside.
I flagged down a keke and they both entered. I bade them farewell and
asked the driver to move before they would start expecting me to pay
their fare.
James came out with a nylon which i wasn't bothered to check because i
was fuming inside.
"Guy which kind wahala be this naa" i half screamed as James approached me.
He looked at me and broke into a laughter.
"Guy those girls shaa, na your village people send them like this" he said
"And remember you dy owe me 2,250 naira o"
I looked at him and hissed. He laughed and suggested we stop a keke to
take us back to our lodge.
"Na your nyash you go use pay for the keke" i told him
Shaa, we walked all the way to our lodge under the hot sun.
Immediately we got back. I just crashed on my bed.
James came into my room and grabbed my stove.
"Guy which level naa, wetin u wan use my stove do" i asked him
"i wan use am cook, no worry, i go comot 250 for the money wey you owe
as compensation for the kerosene" he laughed and left with my stove. I
hissed, got up from the bed and poured a small quantity of Garri in a
cup and headed to James room to borrow sugar.
As i walked into his room, i saw him cooking the remaining fried rice
and chicken those girls had left….
.
To be continued

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